Is Living Together a Bad Idea?
Living together has been the fad of the Y generation in the past years. They say that it’s the most effective way to test the waters. Many believe that by living together before marriage, married life can be much manageable since couples had the chance to experience what it’s like beforehand. They even say that living together can put a halt on the increasing number of divorce cases. Is this really the case?
In any situation, there are advantages and disadvantages. There will always be the two sides of the coin. It can’t be all good. And it doesn’t mean that if it worked for your friends, it will work for you as well. The same goes with living together. That’s why hearing divided opinions about living together is not surprising. To others, it’s a good idea. However, studies suggesting otherwise are increasing. Why is it a bad idea to the majority?
We can start of with morality issues. Although, yes, living together has gained acceptance from the society over the years, we still have to admit that there are still prejudices against couples who are living together outside the sanctity of marriage. No matter how the society tries hard to pretend, a family enveloped by the legalities of marriage is still seen as something more respectful and of higher form. It’s the norms.
If you belong to a certain religion, marriage still is a supported and encouraged and sometimes, mandated settlement for any couple who wishes to conjugate and raise a family. If you happen to be a Christian for an instance, living together is considered a mortal sin and something that is not acceptable. In the eyes and laws of God, living together is not right.
Even in the laws of humans, living together has its own disadvantages. Children who were bore out of wedlock get fewer privileges compared to those who were born inside marriage. That’s why we have legitimate and illegitimate children. Also, in some companies, there are benefits that cannot be given to unmarried people. Not to mention all the studies (that have been surfacing these days) which connote the efficiency of living together as a way to lower the increasing rate of divorce cases.
It has been found from studies that those who have experienced living together before venturing to marriage end up having communication issues the moment they’ve decided to settle down. And since they’ve somehow got used to living together, the value of marriage to those who have tried living together becomes lesser – thus, experiencing less marital satisfaction.
It was also found that males who have lived together before marriage tend to be less committed to their spouse, making them more adjacent to filing a divorce. In the most recent studies, living together has been found to be a heavy contributor to marital problems and instability.
Because of “testing the waters,” the moment the other end fails to meet the expectations of his/her partner, both go their parted ways and move on to the next “probable partner.” This makes them have less tolerance to problems. This also makes people who’ve been into living together see that getting out of the relationship is the best way to solve any heavy issue at hand. This attitude could be the reason behind high rates of divorce coming from couples who’ve undergone cohabitation.
Is living together a bad idea? If we will ask the moralists, you will get a very stiff and sound NO. If you will ask the experts, you will get an answer like “that’s what the data shows.” If you are to ask those who have tried living together and ended successful, you will get a YES. If you will think about it, it’s really up to you.