To Enable or to Nurture

A breadwinner is one who helps others; supports their ideas and actions; it gives encouragement and praise, and is kind and patient. The caregiver will help the loved ones to take responsibility for their actions even if that means falling victim to someone else’s anger. Those with problems should be encouraged to deal with their problems. It is similar with the actions of a parent who does not approve of his child’s behavior but continues to love him.

Being a helper allows loved ones to behave in a harmful way. i.e. .: the power provider may buy alcohol for a partner or continue to lend money to someone who is constantly getting into debt again. By trying to help and protect themselves, they inadvertently make the problem worse.

Some empowerers also become codependents. As an individual, they may either adapt or ignore the problems. By allowing the problem to continue to prevent conflict, it allows one to continue acting in a hurtful way. that is: a person who puts up with her husband after being abused or who will make excuses about a spouse who is an alcoholic. The giver will sometimes do so out of fear of retaliation but the lack of conflict does not solve the problem as it was intended to do.

The difference between helping and doing that: helping to do something for someone who can do it for themselves; empowering is doing something for them when they can do it for themselves.

Strong love may be required as the conduct of a person continues or worsens. Most programmers do it out of love, loyalty and caring. Empowerment can be good. that is: spending time with the child, listening to and letting him know how important it is to you as a parent. As a result, they make the child feel confident and happy. There is a fine line between the role of the provider and the manufacturer that increases trust.